What would a burglar think if they broke in and saw this in my kitchen? What kind of awful salad was I making? Lettuce banana bread? What happened to make this person abandon this cockamamie amalgamation of horrid foods?
I also wonder what would happen if I left these things out, untouched, forever. I think this would be the most disgusting thing in the world. Not only would it be physically revolting, but it would leave so many questions. What kind of abomination was it, what was the reprehensible animal that left lettuce, bananas, and beer on the counter?
More importantly, what story could possibly form to justify such a sin of good taste? Did this person abandon their soda for a beer? Or worse, their sobriety? Is this the residue of someone who could not finish what they started? Of some champion of the lazy and worthless? Perhaps it was a dyslexic chef, preparing a genius meal, but was interrupted before they were finished with the masterpiece, and made the poor choice to watch six episodes of Friends instead of creating the worlds finest dish.. An obsessive compulsive, who insists on leaving two bananas, six leaves of lettuce, an empty can and a mostly full beer on the counter every night? Maybe a matador on a fad diet. Possibly a plumber’s attempt to skirt stereotypes, trying to change his life and turning to trusty ham radio instead. It could’ve been a minotaur, who was trying to impress a lady minotaur (admittedly, I don’t know what minotaurs eat.) Christmas eve, and someone doesn’t understand Santa Claus lore? Or was it someone who just got off work, had made a BLT for lunch and didn’t have enough containers to hold all of the leftover lettuce, and maybe bought too many bananas and decided to eat almonds instead?
Most definitely a mishmash of mystery.