I meant to write this a long time ago. I’ve meant to write this several times, and haven’t had the gusto.
I haven’t felt appreciated in Iowa for a long time. I love it there, the people are wonderful and its a great place, but there’s been nothing there for me for quite a while. I felt lazy there and I hate it. I don’t know why this is the case, it shouldn’t be, maybe it’s just too comfortable, maybe it’s too good. Every professional connection I tried to make and every avenue I tried to go down failed me. This is most definitely my fault, at least partially. But I can’t thrive in a place that makes me feel that way, so I think for now it’s time to say goodbye. Iowa City is a place made to be abandoned, populated and made vibrant by transients. I don’t feel wanted there, and I haven’t for a long time. I hope I can articulate this in a way that’s more expressive sometime, less hazy.
I’d love to live there, and I’d love to be happy there. I hope there’s a time when I can return, but it’s not now.